If you think it’s coming from the sky

and, “Oh no!” we’re gonna die;

that constant fear of Armageddon

means that we will all be dead on

a certain date or a certain day

whether it’s fate or for sins we pay.

Then ask “What’ll I lay my head on

when I face my Armageddon?”

‘Cos remember all these fears are fed

by the carrot that you might not be dead.

So I suggest you buy a camp bed

that way you’ll have a place to rest you head;

a special place to lie and dream

as the rest of us all writhe and scream.

Fried to a crisp or drowned down under

by Satan’s fire or some asteroid’s thunder.

So go out now and buy one quick

and while you’re at it get a stick

‘cos being all that’s left on earth

ask yourself what life is worth.

To lie there on your little bed

when the all of life is gone and dead.

so with the stick, bash out your brain,

I don’t think it will match the pain

of seeing humanitiy’s death throes

I think you’ll think this place blows.

So I don’t know if it’s a good deal,

a camp bed for the way you’ll feel.

But what the hell, it’s worth a try

and they don’t cost that much to buy.

So rush out now and buy your camp bed;

at least it’s comfy if you’re dead.