The Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka

Now the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka is the most beautiful bird anybody has ever seen in the whole wide world.

Her gorgeous plumage holds every colour and hue of the Rainbow, all overlayed with the brilliant sheen of the twinkling of Stars on a dark winters night, while the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka’s tail feathers cascade high into the sky behind her looking for all the world like a waterfall of skyrochets.

All the other birds and animals in the forest are so jealous of the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka’s beauty that they all spend all their time decorating themselves to look as much like the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka as possible.

For the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka though, there is only one way to have fun; Mud Puddling!

Nothing is more fun for the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka than paddling about in the nearest mud puddle, so every day the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka jumps, splashes, rolls and cavorts in every mud puddle that she can find so that her gorgeous plumage ends up all covered in ooey, gooey mud.

The Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka’s favourite move is a Triple Backflipping Somersault Fly-Over Belly Flop, which is the one move guaranteed to send mud flying so high that the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka can cover herself completely in mud in a single move.

This is all very annoying for all the other birds and animals because every morning they spend hours prissing and preening, then patting and parting, so that they can look just like the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka and then, as soon as they have it just right, they hear a hoop and a holla and the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka will go Triple Backflipping Somersaulting Flying-Over and Belly Flopping past them and KERSPLATT!! All of a sudden none of them look anything at all like a Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka anyway.

Then there is only one thing left for them to do; every morning all the birds and animals line up, dressed in their Mud Puddling Pucka Snuckary finery and with a hoop and a holla and a Triple Backflipping Somersaulting Fly-Over Belly Flop they land KERSPLATT! In the biggest mud puddle of them all and come out with all their Mud Puddling Pucka Snuckary finery all covered in ooey gooey mud.

And then they are all happy, because they all look just right!!!

And the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka is happy because she’s had lots of fun and has lots of friends to mud puddle with. Like she always sings:

“It doesn’t matter what you wear,
Just as long as you are there
Let’s all feel alive
And take the dive
There’ll be Triple Backflipping
Somersaulting and Fly-Over Belly Floppin’
In mud puddles it’s so neat
A chance for the folks to meet
There’ll be Triple Backflipping
Somersaulting
and Fly-Over Belly Floppin’ in the streets
So come on people, join the throng
come sing the Mud Puddling Pucka Snucka song
and join in now, ‘cos mud’s the thing
that can make the whole world sing
‘cos we’re all equal don’t you know
when we feel the sweet mud flow
over hair and down our face
let’s all be the One Mud Race.”

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About a foolhardy florilegium

Nullius addictus iurare in verba magistri
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